The Anti-Bucket List

20 Aug
I don't want to, and that's ok

I don’t want to, and that’s ok

I’ve just come across a short and sweet blog post by Rachel Weight at HuffPost called simply Creating my Anti-Bucket List. I love the idea behind it. We always hear about what we should aspire to do before we kick the proverbial bucket, and these lists serve a purpose, giving structure to one’s life goals, whether they are gravely serious (make amends with loved ones) or whimsical (learn to bake a blueberry pie). But it is good to know oneself enough to know what one absolutely will not do. It’s good to know one’s limits and respect them. With that in mind, and taking a cure from Rachel Weight (who made the list as part of a turning 30 realization), here goes my list:

  • I won’t own a giant dog. I am a life-long non animal lover. That is to say, I’ve always liked animals, but never loved them. I am coming around to small and medium-sized dogs, however, and will stop and pet and play with friendly ones I see on the street. That is a big change for me. And yet. I will not be owning a big dog any time soon. If a small child can ride it, it’s too big for me.
  • I will not travel to Pakistan. There is at least one place on each continent that fascinates me. In South America, that’s Brazil and in Asia, Japan. But Pakistan, with its sandy plateaus, acid attacks on women, honor killings, and threatening environment for Westerners and women in general, would be appealing if there were historical or cultural sites of interest to me. There are none.
  • No buggery.
  • I will not try to get through a book that feels like a chore (and yes I am currently in a book club). I’ve always said, life is too short for bad books.
  • I will never ever stay at a youth hostel ever again (even at age 25 I found that I was way too old for it).
  • I will color my hair, cut it, curl it, put pretty bows in it and alter it in many ways, but you better believe I won’t ever shave it all off.

Well, that was a fun exercise in knowing my limits. And it certainly got the wheels in my head spinning about what I AM willing to do. That will be for a future post.

What about you? What is absolutely NOT on your bucket list?

Back to Blogging

19 Aug
Why not now

Why not now

When I recently paid my yearly fee for owning this fabulous domain name (take note, Salma Hayek, the term Lebanexican is mine!), I realized it’s silly to pay money for lebanexican.com if I am going to let it lie dormant with no new posts since 2012! I then told myself that I would do a month of a blog post a day, just as I did in May 2011, but then realized, why wait until September 1st? Why not now?

Why not now? are three great words to keep in mind when it’s tempting to put the brakes on an idea. I intend to try out a new recipe, but don’t. I intend to lace up my running shoes, but don’t. And yet, I just need remind myself, why not now? So I will be writing a bit here, a bit there, about topics of interest to me. They may be short, they may be long, but I’ll be breathing some new life into this old blog. Welcome back, reader.

2012 in review: Thanks WordPress

31 Dec

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 4,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 7 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Top 5 Movies 0f 2012

16 Dec
Blancanieves

Blancanieves

I have enjoyed writing about my favorite films of the year in 2010 and 2011. In 2012 there were fewer movies that made the top of my list, but those that did were truly original. I begin with a movie I saw on an airplane.

Magic Mike, directed by Steven Soderbergh, was a bit of light summer entertainment. Or was it? Even though the subject matter was far from previous subjects of Soderbergh’s movies, like drug trafficking in “Traffic” and environmental pollution in “Erin Brockovich”, Magic Mike deals with the seedy side of the American dream. Namely, everyone wants to be famous, but at what price? Is it your soul? Channing Tatum’s Mike takes the young Adam under his wing but watches as the young man loses his soul as he gets rich not only stripping, but dealing drugs. We see the familiar Soderbergh color palette- bright sunshine during the day and cold darks in nightclubs and darkly lit strip clubs. This is the best I’ve ever seen Matthe McConaughey act- the role seems tailor made for him- and the cast is stunning to look at, notably True Blood hunk Joe Manganiello.

I was in Spain for a week this fall, where I had the good fortune to see the new release Blancanieves, by Director Pablo Berger. When I first heard that it was a black and white silent film, I expected it to be a derivative of “The Artist”. Despite my reservations, the movie turned out to be thrillingly original, and thoroughly Spanish. This retelling of the Snow White tale makes the young Snow White the daughter of a champion bullfighter and a flamenco singer, and the seven dwarves are seven miniature bullfighters (see the image above). The movie’s pace is slow as the relationship between the young Snow White and her father and stepmother develops (played with wicked relish by veteran Spanish actress Maribel Verdú), and it builds to a thrilling climax. It is Spain’s entry for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. I hope it has a chance.

I am a big fan of thrillers- be they spy, political, psychological, you name it. Argo is the former, a spy thriller that tells the amazing true story of the rescue of 6 employees of the American Embassy in Tehran during the Iranian hostage crisis of late 70’s. Ben Affleck has turned into a master director of taut action films- Gone Baby Gone and The Town were all well-paced and well-acted, and Argo is no exception. Argo is an ensemble film, and so this movie is not a showcase for any one actor to show their chops. It is a remarkable story that is expertly told- and the airport sequence had me slinking lower and lower in my seat until I was nearly on the floor. If I have one criticism of the movie, I would have liked to have seen the real-life character of Tony Mendez, played by Ben Affleck as Tony Everyman from Anytown U.S.A., portrayed as a Hispanic man, which is who he was. I’ll let Moctezuma Esparza take it from here.

I was ready to like Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln when I heard it was in pre-production. So I was geared to like it. But the movie went above and beyond my expectations. I have compared it to a good college lecture as a way of letting some moviegoers know that it is not for everyone- there’s no explosions, and the action is mostly driven by dialogue. But what dialogue it is. While Spielberg justly gets credit for his expert direction and Daniel Day-Lewis for once again inhabiting the flesh and bone of his character, Tony Kushner deserves praise for adapting Doris Kearns Goodwin’s “Team of Rivals” into a riveting political thriller, while breathing life into key figures from American history such as Mary Todd Lincoln, William Seward and Robert Todd Lincoln. The acting is superb, and the story- well, it shows that sometimes politicians have to get a little dirty to achieve great things.

L’homme qui voulait vivre sa vie has been translated into English as The Big Picture, but the right translation of the French title would be The Man who wanted to live his life. A much better title. I just saw this film a week ago, and have been unable to get it out of my head. It stars Romain Duris as a bourgeois professional living in an unhappy marriage. The chance to escape his humdrum life presents itself, and he takes it. I will admit that part of the pleasure of this movie was not knowing a thing about it before I saw it- I just felt like seeing a French movie. But I was spellbound by the thriller- how one accident leads a man to completely change his life, which at first leads to him realizing his dreams as a photographer but then leads him to live a life of constant fear of being found out. The man wanted to live his life- but what kind of a life is he destined to live?

And sadly I have to leave a dishonorable mention for “The Dark Knight Rises”. You can file it under, “Movies that millions of fans of The Dark Knight looked forward to and then were crushed by awful characters, improbably plot lines, and a perplexing ending”. At least the folks at Honest Trailers did it justice.

Writing a fourth of a novel in one month!

3 Dec
Nanowrimo!

Nanowrimo!

It is December 3rd, so it has been 3 days since I wrote the 46th page of my novel. I have since added one paragraph. I wrote a little bit every day, except for maybe two or three days, although often this only amounted to one page per day. To what am I referring? National Novel Writing Month, of course.

I had always wanted to try it, and actually did try two years ago. I had the brilliant idea to write a semi-autobiographical story retelling the story of my recent breakup. Yikes. I made it 13 pages. Finally, this year, the project gestated over several months. I had an idea, and it would bear enough fruit to become not just a short story, or a novella, but a real novel.

Well, like Kristin Claes Matthews, I got embarrassed to tell strangers what the story is about (some friends knew). I will be as cryptic now as I was with them: it’s based on the true life story of a real woman who is really alive and who has an unusual life story that always fascinated me. It infuriated me, so I thought I would explore that. When I saw a special about her legal troubles on 60 Minutes ages ago, it stuck with me. How could someone do such a thing? The arrogance! And she probably had no idea she was being so arrogant! I figured I would use a flashback structure to go back and forth between her present day in a foreign prison, and to her past to explore the path her life took to get her to that foreign prison. But enough about my plot.

So in order to successfully complete NanoWrimo (and that is pronounced Nano-reemo, cause originally I had no idea), you have to write 50,000 words, which should come out to approximately 175 pages. So yes, I only wrote a little more than 14,000 words- not even halfway there- and this came to 46 pages. As I mentioned, I wrote every day, but just a little bit. Not enough. I couldn’t help thinking, damnit, is this ANOTHER thing I couldn’t see through to completion? And then I thought, you know what? This is the most I’ve ever written in my life. I like that the purpose of NanoWrimo is to get would-be writers past the roadblock of ‘never good enough’. It is about quantity, not quality. So I got used to the idea of producing a bunch of text that wasn’t necessarily accurate, or good, but it would give me a pulpy mass that I could later go back and revise. Plus, there were a few sentences here and there that are actually kind of good. And who knew there were so many synonyms for “said”?

It was fun, and I hope to continue it. Maybe I’ll finish this thing by my birthday in March. And thank you, folks behind NanoWrimo, for this idea to turn would-be writers into actual writers with no excuses.

 

Reviewing the new Ad Campaign for MIIS

2 Dec
MIIS Be the Solution

MIIS Be the Solution

I am a proud graduate of the Monterey Institute of International Studies, Class of 2007. I have been pleased to see the growing partnership with Middlebury College take root, and I am glad to see a widespread marketing campaign for the first time that I recall (or at least one that is reaching my eyeballs). Now I work in digital marketing, so I know that a lot of thought has gone into the digital ad campaign seen at left. Surely this image has been tested and analyzed and proven to be the most effective. I have, however, had some reservations about the photo that has been central to this campaign.

I don’t know if this photo is only being used in the San Francisco Bay Area or if it’s national. I am sure that the Bay Area is full of educated, well-travelled, idealistic young people who would be ideal candidates for the largest school within the Institute, the Graduate School of International Policy Studies. Nevertheless, you may never know by looking at this picture that 40% of MIIS students are international. They study at the Institute for two years and then return to their home countries to apply the skills they’ve acquired during their Master’s. I know it’s unrealistic to expect a locally targeted ad campaign to highlight this kind of student, but the ad featuring IPS Class of 97’s Richard Crothers is rich in symbols. These symbols, I suppose, are meant to appeal to a certain prospective student.

But peruse the excellent blog Gurl Goes to Africa for a primer on the history of people from the Global North (U.S.+Europe) seeking redemption on the African continent. You don’t need to be Colonel Kurtz to know that. Examine the pictures on the Gurl Goes to Africa blog for a moment- the picture of privileged white people showing their friends back home how remarkably human the Africans are, the images of condescending Western attitudes (look, they’ve never seen a camera before!), and ask yourself if the photo of Crothers with the young African children isn’t meant to appeal to this same desire. If you want to help the little African kids, then perhaps a MIIS education is for you.

Bono in Africa

Bono in Africa

I encourage the Monterey Institute, my alma mater, to take a critical look at the use of the tired trope of the white savior in Africa not to denigrate the work of IPS graduates in the field, or of Mr. Crothers in particular. I applaud their work; what they do makes me proud to be a graduate of this fine institution. I merely criticize this image, of the many that could have been used. Again, I imagine that, as with any digital ad campaign, it has been fine-tuned, and this image has simply been found the most effective. Yet I would encourage the Monterey Institute of International Studies to test out a different photo. They could perhaps feature the story of Maame Afon, Class of ’05, featured on the MIIS website. She is pictured with young African girls like herself. Would such an image prove as successful for MIIS as the one currently being used? I would be curious to know.

How to be Alone

5 Aug
Alone in the Big City

Alone in the Big City

Blogging on a Saturday night after a hiatus of, what, four months? Not exactly the triumphant return I hoped for. It may be a short post, but it’s worth writing. I just read Tracy Clark-Flory’s article on Salon entitled, simply, “How to be Alone”. I simply feel that I have to comment, as somewhat of an expert on being alone.

I live alone in a very “cozy” studio apartment. When I tell people this, they react in either one of two ways. Men usually tell me that it would drive them crazy, and women tell me that they envy having a space of their own. Yes, the space is small- I can see my refrigerator from my bed- but I love having this small corner of the big city that is mine and mine alone. And yes, I like living alone. It does not mean that I am a hermit with no family or friends. I see family and I see friends- as a matter of fact, living in a cramped space forces one to venture out more than one would otherwise, I think. So I make plans with friends- we meet for lunch on Sunday, for Happy Hour drinks on Thursday, perhaps for a movie on Sunday.

But I am single, and have been resolutely single most of my life, with only short relationships interspersed between the years. I am very used to being alone, but some of the experts quoted in the Salon article mention that one of the difficulties in being lonely is the perceived stigma. I can attest to this and say that it is the difficult aspect of living in a big city alone and single. I only care when others care. Meaning, I rate restaurants based on how they treat solo diners. There is one place near me where I ate once with my mother and had a lovely lunch. I then went back alone on the weekend to have breakfast, and had a horrible experience. I watched as families and couples at tables were greeted warmly and served attentively by the waiter, while I was treated like a leper. I have never returned.

Going to movies alone is fine, as many in the theater are alone as well, and moviegoing is a communal experience any way (besides, I can’t stand going to the movies with people who want to chit chat. Let’s discuss who that actor is after the movie, please!). Going to concerts is something I cannot do alone, as that is an experience I believe has to be shared. However, I once went to a concert alone- my favorite band at the time, Dandy Warhols, was playing, and I couldn’t miss them. I ended up running into a dear friend from high school in line and we enjoyed the concert together, and went out afterwards. Serendipity.

It’s tough out there for a single woman in her 30’s. I often feel as though I am the last single person on Earth. It seems as though everyone I know is either married, engaged or in a relationship. I am quite used to being the third, fifth, or seventh in group outings. And because I’ve always felt that it is better to be happy alone than miserable in a shitty relationship, I am quite happy living my life until the next guy comes along. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel the occasional twinge of loneliness. But I try to make myself responsible for my own happiness and not mind if others are uncomfortable with my single status. I live in a great city, San Francisco, where it is hard to get bored, and where I prefer to enjoy all the city has to offer whether I am alone, with friends, or with the rare boyfriend. Even if it means a brazen public display of singleness.

And this should make your day: How to Be Alone, by poet Tanya Davis.

In Defense of a Humanities Major

8 Apr
English major

English major

STEM careers seem to be all the rage. When we read about China’s ascendance on the world stage and America’s fall as a world power, we often read about our lack of college graduates in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics.  It is true that many of the cerebral muscle powering innovation in Silicon Valley comes from abroad, and I have been told by friends in these fields that there is indeed a lack of preparation by American college grads to work in these fields. But does this have to come at the expense of preparing young people in the humanities, arts, and social sciences? To some, the answer is yes.

After reading Michelle Singletary’s recent Washington Post column, “Not all college majors are created equal”, I had to respond. This recession has been hard on everyone, and I have had discussions with friends about this very topic: namely, do we regret majoring in something like history, geography, Spanish, visual art? Do we even think college is necessary in this day and age when so much is being replaced by apps and outsourcing? It is a precarious time in which to be a college graduate, when a degree does not lead instantly to a job and 401K. A major in engineering may be a sure bet in this climate- it instantly leads to a high-paying job, whereas a degree in psychology or sociology may not. But I think it is worth looking at what a college education is for when looking at the value of one major against another.

As a literature major, I know that I will rarely need to cite my senior thesis on how two Caribbean poets reconciled politics in their work, while a lab biologist will have to use her knowledge of chemistry every day in the lab. But in addition to learning certain facts and figures within our chosen field of study, we should walk away from college, regardless of major, armed with the knowledge of how to think and solve a problem. Biology majors apply the scientific method to the study of the natural world. Hypothesis, experiment, recalibrate, repeat. Psychology majors use the methods of the social sciences to set up studies of human behavior, constantly refining their findings in light of new evidence. And us literature majors? Ideally, we learn to read critically and write clearly. As a professor of mine from graduate school stated simply, “Clear writing comes from clear thinking” (naturally he never read some of the literary theorists I read in college). And as a family friend who is a successful defense lawyer said recently, the best major for a young person who wants to pursue a career in law? English.

Learning a discipline that will teach you to think, and think critically, is essential to a career in the professions- those careers pursued by young people who go to college in the first place to advance their chances of entering the middle class. Are STEM majors the only way to go? I certainly hope not. We need these students, yes, to develop the technologies of the future. But we need business executives to fund them, politicians to craft policies that support them, journalists to analyze them, and more. Steve Jobs spearheaded the biggest technological advances in recent memory, and yet it can be argued that his emphasis on design helped to make Apple what it is today. The look and feel of Apple was influenced by Jobs’ admiration of calligraphy, based on a class he took at Reed College.

I think that colleges need to do a much better job at preparing students for life after college. I know that my alma mater had a dismal career center when I was a graduating senior: I recall being disheartened by seeing a job posting for a manager at a retail store at the local mall. All this work to graduate, I thought, and they want us to go work at the mall? Nevertheless, career services at my university must have improved over the intervening years, because I recently participated in an alumni event to help students prepare for post-college life. I regret that I only worked one summer during college. I would advise students to work, volunteer or travel EACH summer during college, as well as seek out internships to know if a given career is a good fit.  But I would advise a student inclined toward majoring in the humanities to pursue what they love both during and after college. It will truly pay off.

The Maid, The Gardener, and The Prime Minister

7 Feb
Demian Bichir

Demian Bichir

I was tickled when I heard that Demian Bichir, the handsome Mexican actor, was nominated for Best Actor for his role in “A Better Life”. I had expected Ryan Gosling in “Drive”, or Michael Fassbender for “Shameless”, but not Bichir. I saw the movie last summer, and thought that he brought quiet dignity to the role of a father struggling to connect with his son and provide a better life for him in the U.S. I appreciate movies like “A Better Life” that show the lives of people who are normally invisible in society- “Under the Same Moon” with Kate del Castillo also falls in this category. So I was disappointed to see this headline on Guanabee a few days ago: “Mexican Actor Demian Bichir Receives Oscar Nomination- But for Playing a Gardener”. Why the “But”?

A similar debate has emerged regarding Viola Davis’ performance in “The Help”, which has also garnered her an Oscar nomination.  Some critics are mumbling that she only played a maid. I will not shield the movie “The Help” from criticism. I have difficulty watching a movie when I can’t accept the characters’ motivations, and I had trouble understanding why the maids would agree to tell their stories to young Skeeter Phelan. As a result of her chronicle of the lives of domestic maids in Jackson, Mississippi, Skeeter’s professional career skyrockets and Aibilene, played by Davis, is predictably fired. But Viola Davis imbues the character with patience, wariness and the disillusionment of a character living with daily oppression. Viola Davis has a wonderfully expressive face and could read the phone book (yes, that old thing) with aplomb, and it is good to see talented actors  using their gifts to give life to people whose inner lives are rarely glimpsed on the big screen.

Viola Davis

Viola Davis

“The Help”, while flawed, provided a showcase for a host of female actresses, and could launch the careers of Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis. But what roles will they continue to play as their careers skyrocket? Tyler Perry offers roles for African-American women actors. But will Viola Davis ever play a world leader on the scale of, say, Margaret Thatcher? An actress like Meryl Streep will never hurt for parts. Yet African-American actresses-especially those of a certain age- have fewer and fewer roles available to them. And what will Demain Bichir do to follow up his Oscar nomination? Again, while I applaud his portrayal of Javier in “A Better Life”, I hope that he finds roles in Hollywood that offer the same chance to give a nuanced performance. No gangsters or drug lords or cholos that hew to old stereotypes. Por favor.

 

A Literary Bucket List

22 Jan
Madame Bovary

Madame Bovary

I was a bit disappointed, while at a friend’s birthday party this afternoon, to admit to not having read anything good in a while when asked if I had any good book recommendations. I majored in literature in college, and people know that I like to read, but my internet addiction has lead me to read more things that end in .ly than “Winner of the Pulitzer Prize” lately. I also admit that I have little patience with books I don’t enjoy after the first 20 pages or so. My attitude in this regard is the same one I have for movies: life is too short for bad books AND bad movies. I don’t want to force myself to read something I am not absorbed by. And yes, this means that I have tried unsuccessfully to read Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre twice, before abandoning the book with a yawn.

I only made a valiant effort to read Jane Eyre because several friends whose opinion I value had recommended it. When it comes to choosing books to read, there are book reviews/media buzz, like the kind that greets literary blockbusters like Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom; there’s the old first page test in the bookstore (that is, read the first page of a book found in a library or bookstore, and if you have an urge to continue, you’ve found yourself a good book). For those of us who studied literature in college and love the written word, there are books that we intend to read, authors we mean to read more of, but whom we’ve never gotten around to reading. In no particular order are the books and writers who I would like to read before I kick the proverbial bucket:

  • anything by William Faulkner. I vaguely remember reading a passage from As I Lay Dying in high school and loving the language and the simple premise: a woman’s last, fevered thoughts on her deathbed. I know the Biblical weight of a title like Absalom, Absalom, though I don’t know what the novel is about; the same is true for The Sound and the Fury and A Light in August. I love the story of the college librarian who wrote masterpieces in secret. The fact that I haven’t read any of Faulkner’s novels needs to be remedied.
  • Russian literature. This one is simple, or should be anyway. I don’t think anyone can claim to know about great literature without having read any of the great Russian writers, like Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, or Pushkin. Unfortunately, I don’t have more than a Cliffs Notes understanding of any of these men, or other Russian authors for that matter. I won’t set so high a bar as War and Peace– I’ll settle for reading Ivan the Fool.
  • the Romantic poets. In college I took a course called Reading the Traditional British Canon Part I. It was one of my favorite classes, taught by a brilliant young professor which lead students through an intense 10 weeks of some of the giants of British literature. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the second course in the series, naturally called Reading the Traditional British Canon Part II. And that course introduces students to the Romantic poets. I know what the adjective byronic means, but I have never read Lord Byron. I know that there is a famous poem called “Tiger tiger burning bright”, but I have never read William Blake. This situation is also easily remedied, though I refuse to buy another edition of the Norton Anthology.
  • Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. If I were being really ambitious, I would read it in the original French, but I choose this novel because it is the original feminist tale about a desperate housewife, right? Close runner up: Anna Karenina.
  • Philip Roth. What was Portnoy complaining about? What was in The Human Stain? I know that Roth is one of the most prolific contemporary American writers, and I have a friend who wrote his dissertation about Philip Roth’s work. That’s enough for me.

What do you think? What would you suggest? Is my list too centered on dead white men, and if so, which female authors and writers of color do you recommend? Keep in mind I majored in Spanish Literature- Spanish-language writers are also appreciated. As a matter of fact, a Spanish-language version of this list may be forthcoming.

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